Ski math: The gas as gear test
By Wayne Sheldrake |
There are two sections to this test.You must answer both sections of the test in order to continue with the rest of your life. If you do not complete both sections, the test will not be graded and you will be required to relive you life up to this point and test again. This test is not an assessment tool. This test is for blood. You may take the test as many times as you wish.You may choose to take it several times a year or several times a week depending on the never-ending rise of the price of a barrel of crude.
Instructions
Please study Example A and Example B below, then answer problems 1-7 of the “Objective Questions.” When you have completed the “Objective Questions,” go on to the “Subjective Question.”
You may take as much time as you wish to answer the questions, but you may not leave the room until you have answered every question. (Pizza delivery is allowed.)
Please use a #2 pencil, and show your work.
When you are through, close your Mountain Gazette, set your pencil on the cover and wait patiently for the winter of 2006- 2007.
Please be aware that if you take too much time, the price of a barrel of crude may have risen, and you will be asked to start again.
You may use scratch paper to show your work, although it makes no difference, as you will not get extra credit for it, and we will simply throw it away as soon as you turn around.
You may begin at any time.
Stop when you see this symbol: ?
*****
Examples
Example A:
If a gallon of gas costs $4 and you live thirty miles from Ski Area A (the closest) and your car gets thirty miles per gallon, how much will it cost you to drive to Ski Area A and back? Assume the drive takes thirty minutes.
Answer: $8
Example B:
Assuming you start from the same place and drive the same car with gas of the same octane and loaded at the same weight under identical driving conditions, if a gallon of gas costs $4 and you live 100 miles from Ski Area B (your favorite), how much will it cost you to drive to Ski Area B and back? Assume the drive takes 105 minutes.
Answer: $29
Objective Questions
1. If the season pass at Ski Area A (the closest), 30 miles and 30 minutes away, costs $560, how much will it cost to drive to the ski area and back and ski 20 days? To help calculate your answer, assume you start from the same place and drive the same car with gas of the same octane and loaded at the same weight under identical driving conditions, when a gallon of gas costs $4. Also assume you take a sack lunch.
2. If the season pass at Ski Area B (your favorite), 100 miles and 105 minutes away, costs $225, how much will it cost to drive to the ski area and back and ski twenty days? To help calculate your answer assume you start from the same place and drive the same car with gas of the same octane and loaded at the same weight under identical driving conditions, when a gallon of gas costs $4. Also assume you take a sack lunch.
3. Using the answers from above, now calculate the cost of a season pass, taking into account predicted losses of oil production from Iraq, Iran, and Nigeria, lost production and damage to refineries due to hurricane Katrina, potential retirement packages for exiting big-oil multinational corporations, record quarterly profits of Exxon/Mobil, anticipated production from the National Wildlife Arctic Refuge, suspension of boutique fuel production, suspension of E.P.A. Clean Air standards, growing Chinese demand, potential (or lack thereof) research-anddevelopment of alternative fuels under the present administration, likelihood (or lack thereof) of tax breaks for research-and-development of alternative fuels under the present administration, predicted exchange rates, costs of retail rental space, possible enforcement of present immigration laws, the burst of the real estate bubble and the tendency of gas-guzzling SUVs to travel ten to fifteen miles per hour over the speed limit.
4. Using the answers from above, now calculate the cost of a sack lunch, taking into account predicted losses of oil production from Iraq, Iran and Nigeria, lost production and damage to refineries due to Hurricane Katrina, potential retirement packages for exiting big-oil multinational corporations, record quarterly profits of Exxon/Mobil, anticipated production from the National Wildlife Arctic Refuge, suspension of boutique fuel production, suspension of E.P.A. Clean Air standards, growing Chinese demand, potential (or lack thereof) research-anddevelopment of alternative fuels under the present administration, likelihood (or lack thereof) of tax breaks for research-and-development of alternative fuels under the present administration, predicted exchange rates, costs of retail rental space, possible enforcement of present immigration laws, the burst of the realestate bubble, and the tendency of gas-guzzling SUVs to travel ten to fifteen miles per hour over the speed limit. A “sack lunch” is defined as the following: 1 — almond butter and alfalfa sprouts sandwich on Ezekiel bread; one .75-oz. organic Fuji apple; one 12- oz. bag of sweet potato chips; one 11.5-oz. cane-sweetened root beer (in non-refundable bottle); one Baby Ruth.
5. Using your calculations from questions 1 through 4, estimate the cost of a day of skiing at Ski Area A.
6. Using your calculations from questions 1 through 4, estimate the cost of a day of skiing at Ski Area B.
7. Please repeat the problems five and six solving for regular unleaded gas at $4.12, $4.37, $4.89 and $5.02 per gallon. (Drivers of turbos and V-8s must recalculate their answers for prices of unleaded premium.)
Subjective Question
Now write a 3-5-page essay or short story that expresses your feelings and opinions about the price of gasoline and the cost of your favorite recreation.You may use figures from the objective section of the test to support your answer.You may choose to compose your own word problem. (Hint: Essays written in five-paragraph form and using statistics and expert testimony always score higher than stories.We just allow stories in case you have no idea what the hell is going on.)
Complete your story or essay on High Brightness 92, 8” x 11” white paper.Write on one side of the page only. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate your papers or they will be rejected by the Assessment Subjective Score (ASS) scanner, which really calculates nothing more than the length of your essay compared to the shills who couldn’t think of anything and wrote a one-page story instead.
Remember the subjective section is really objective.You must solve the problem. No pondering is allowed.You may include an accompanying illustration or other visual aids, although it makes no difference, you will not get extra credit for it and we will simply throw it away as soon as you turn around.
1: “The main thing to know about story problem-solving: Do not try to understand the problem. The main cause of failure to solve story problems reliably is attempting to understand the problem statement. A problem statement is not an object to be understood. It is simply a source of information like a dictionary, telephone book or reference book. It is a place to look up information when a problem solution step requests information. The information contained in a problem statement is frequently arranged in a confusing or puzzling manner. This leads to confusion if one tries to understand the problem, and solving the problem therefore becomes impossible.You need only to look up the responses to requests made by the solution steps. The solution process will unravel the problem statement for you. And, remember, a problem is understood by solving it not by pondering it”
(http://www.hawaii.edu/suremath/info_algebra.html)
Frequent contributor Wayne Sheldrake’s last piece for the Gazette was “Braking Wind,” which appeared in #124. He lives in Del Norte, Colorado.
