The Big Box Bleaghhhhh
By Tara Flanagan |
| Map illustration by Greg Wright |
1. Another grand-mal snit
Not since the time a strip club tried to come to town has Frisco, Colorado, had its underwear so inextricably up its butt. Hinting it was going to be sucked into the center of the earth if its citizenry did not go for a Home Depot, the town put the matter to vote several weeks ago, on December 13. The agitated masses waddled to the polls and trounced the notion by a 57-43 margin, putting the question to rest. But big boxes have a way of coming around, and it’s our guess Frisco will have a similar snit in the not-too-distant future.
2. Sure you want to say no?
The Fort Collins City Council in 1996 passed a measure saying no to a proposed Wal-Mart Supercenter. With some urging, however, voters were convinced otherwise by the many benefits of Wal-Mart (sales tax revenue, health care benefits for workers) and passed a ballot initiative rejecting the council’s decision. With us so far? So a group of people opposing the ballot initiative that opposed the original decision came forward to fight the Supercenter. At that point, lawyers representing the pro-Wal-Mart contingent came out with guns blazing, threatening to sue the opponents personally if they persisted. Wal-Mart won.
3. You want that super-sized?
In a move that essentially told the corporate folks in Arkansas to screw themselves, the Taos Town Council in 2003 upheld a land-use code that limited the size of buildings to a tidy 80,000 square feet and thereby thwarted a plan for a Wal-Mart Supercenter. Now, that’s not to say Wal-Mart hasn’t continued to make noise. It’s a common tactic in which developers dangle sales-tax revenue in front of local politicians, threatening to build just outside town limits if their plans are not greeted with adequate zeal. For now, Taos must make do with the standard-sized Wal-Mart already in place.
4. Mach schnell! We need more Wal-Marts!
Comprising 12 percent of Utah’s non-residential figures, Wal-Mart secured more than $130 million in building permits in 2003 alone. And that pretty much needs to happen if the retailer is to keep its feverish pace. Posting more than $250 billion in annual sales, its economy exceeds all but 30 of the world’s nations, according to The New York Times.
5. But not all day long
Twin Falls, Idaho, will have its Wal-Mart, but complaining about lights, noise and traffic, residents and the city council here have said no to 24-hour operations. Long before the store was approved, neighbors thought the rezoned parcel was to house a small business park, maybe with some bike trails.
6. That’s not, uh, what we meant
Just this December, a scant few days after city officials in the border town of San Luis, Arizona issued an emergency ordinance banning retail operations of more than 50,000 square feet, they are now welcoming, slackjawed and drooling, a Wal-Mart Supercenter into their midst. The local chamber of commerce appears to be suffering the same sudden amnesia about the original decision. We cannot imagine what may have transpired in that short time.
7. A soothing, mossy color
Avondale, Arizona, has one Wal-Mart already, so in proposing a second big Wal-Mart to the citizenry here, the corporate folks came up with installing windows, faux balconies and a new, mossy green color scheme in order to soothe frayed nerves among malcontents. “It’s not going to be blue,” a hopeful company spokesperson said. The town’s planning commission failed to get too excited about the concession, however, and trounced the developer’s plan to install the center at the town’s entrance.
8. The buck doesn’t stop here
Pissed off about big boxes impinging on Mexico’s heritage, the country’s National Human Rights Commission recently declared the construction of a Wal-Mart at the Teotihuacan pyramid site as a constitutional violation. In a related move, several groups have asked that Costco close its warehouse on the Casino de la Selva grounds in Cuernavaca. More recently, Wal-Mart reportedly has sought to buy a privately owned bullfighting ring in Juarez to make room for a new store.
9. When no means maybe
Seven years after Wal-Mart got the kibosh from the folks up in Saranac Lake, New York, rumors are that the retailer is back to test the nippy waters for a new store. Are residents hungrier for more groceries and cheap underwear this time around? Stay tuned.
10. There’s a reason they call it Wallkill
This year on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, a swarm of Wal-Mart shoppers that had assembled at 5 a.m. was released into the Wallkill, N.Y., Supercenter, rushing to get to what had been rumored as a scarce supply of consumer electronics. A clot of shoppers ended up in a large pile, literally, at which time scared Wal-Mart employees allegedly began throwing DVD players into the crowd to satisfy their needs. “It’s disgusting,” an employee told the local newspaper.
